Meeting #3 – “Today is My Choice”

It’s funny how this morning after my 5:30 AM workout, as I was getting ready for my 8 AM meeting, it literally felt like such a normal routine. I was actually excited to go see these people – something I would have never expected in a MILLION years.

I absolutely loved the format of today’s meeting. First of all, the leader actually asked me to read The Promises, part of the opening of every meeting. I confided in her my hesitation with the “a” word – and she was totally cool and seemed to understand where I was coming from. So when I introduced myself, I said “Hi, my name is XXX. Today is only my 3rd meeting – I do have a strong desire to stop drinking, but I still can’t quite say the other word yet, but I’m working on it”. And there were giggles and I felt a tremendous acceptance from everyone.

Today there was an inspirational book – not sure of the name of it, but there was a quote for each day of the year. As we passed it around, we were each asked to find our sobriety anniversary date and read the passage for that date, then speak to it from our experience. My date is March 10th – I can’t remember the words in what I read, but I distinctly remember the title – “Today is My Choice” and that is what I spoke to.

I made mention that a lot of people might be court ordered or dragged into the meetings, and how lucky I was to have reached out to someone who recommended (NOT MANDATED) the meetings. And how I came to find that one of my friends was already there which made it even more coincidental. And just how lucky I am to start my day with people who are “like me” – people with so much depth and experience – folks who can TOTALLY make me laugh (honestly, it can be like comedy hour for free!) with some tears in the mix. And the reaction I got to what I said was just overwhelming. I really felt accepted and loved and admired and respected.

Never in my life did I think I would be doing this. I feel like I am SO lucky with finding what I honestly feel is the RIGHT group for me. It is so close in vicinity to my house. These are not homeless, toothless old people – a lot of them are my age and I just look at them thinking – man – I would totally hang out with them.

Nothing is ever easy of course. But I did go through my first test last night. Without going into too much detail, one of my family members had a LOT of drama going on in their life. And they had me very worried about their personal well being. I spent a lot of time on the phone with them and felt like I was doing the right thing. I won’t say it NEVER crossed my mind to drink – but the second that I did, my immediate mindset was how much WORSE the situation would be if I did. I did not think about how I would disappoint myself; I did not think about how I would disappoint my group – I sincerely only thought about how there was nothing about drinking that would make things better. I have both of my friends’ numbers on hand, and if I had thought there was a chance of a slip, I truly would have reached out. But the thought was so fleeting, and I felt like my mindset was so rational, that it was an amazing (though scary) experience.

Even better news – one of the gals I have mentioned above will be joining me from time to time at the gym at 5:30 AM. I figure what the hell – may as well mix everything up and start a new way of life! It’s also easy to explain why I am not drinking when I am getting up at 5 to work out at 5:30 AM. I know I’m not far into this new routine, but so far, so good, and that is all I need to focus on right now. I hope everyone is having a FABULOUS day!!!

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6 thoughts on “Meeting #3 – “Today is My Choice”

  1. Awesome…got me teary eyed. I love the enthusiasm and gratitude you have in going to the meetings. I too enjoy being with my “peeps”. Sometimes that is all I need from a meeting. That is the great thing, that we’re all in the same boat – toothless or not, jobless or not, etc. Many of the ideas of what an alcoholic “looked” like got smashed pretty quickly after a few meetings. I am glad you seem to be identifying a little bit more. No rush…and like I said earlier, you will get full acceptance on that. Many have struggled with that word. Many come to peace with it.

    The book you are referring to was probably “Daily Reflections” (beige cover) or 24 hours a day (black cover). It’s been around a bit, and is used in some meetings. The morning meeting I used to go to used that. I read it daily, along with 24 hours, and a men’s daily meditation book. They’re great for setting the tone for the day, and to give a bit of reflection before getting out there in the world.

    Your tale about not getting tempted to drink is great. You are absolutely right – nothing gets better by having a few drinks. Nothing gets accomplished. As for the drama – it’s nice to not be the cause of it, or getting caught up in it. We alcoholics unconsciously brought drama to ourselves and in other people’s lives. There are some that still get caught up in it in their sobriety (hence Emotions Anonymous exists…lol) One thing I had to learn was to detach with love when it came to overwhelming drama from others. I care about them, but I don’t care for them. Big difference!

    I can’t wait to hear about your next meeting. I wanted to thank you so much for sharing your experience. It really helps me in reminding me of what it was like. You’re doing great 🙂

    Love and Light,
    Paul

  2. This is awesome! So great to hear how you are getting on. Can’t believe you’re doing the early morning exercise and then a meeting – what a fabulous start to the day!! Exercise is definitely the key to a happy life I think. That and music. xxxxx

    • Thanks Mrs. D! I have always loved exercise but it was usually the treadmill at about 5:30 PM. And then if (for the most part WHEN) I made unhealthy choices in the evening, it then seemed to take me all day to get back on track. And then repeated the cycle. Starting my day off with exercise has been awesome, not to mention the great fellowship to follow. Always a pleasure to have you pop in!!!

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