I have wanted to post all day but have been so incredibly busy! I think I’m gonna do this in bullet form today because the weather is SO beautiful I want to go sit on the deck and read!!!
1. Did my spinning class at 5:30 AM. Great sweat and great workout – such a great sweat, I HAD to take a shower before my meeting!!!
2. Went to meeting at 8 AM. This makes five in five days! But I truly WANTED to go to each and every one of them! We did some reading from the Big Book – the part where it talks about the guy who jay walks all the time, and bad things happen, yet he continues to jay walk. And the average person would think “why are you so stupid – don’t you know better?” Which is probably what they think about people who continue to drink even when bad things happen. We touched on the subject of the label of an alcoholic and I did share. I think the reason I am not a fan of the word is because my father was a stereotypical alcoholic. Drank all the time; hid bottles; lost jobs and made me (as a pre-teen) cover for him. Physically and emotionally abused my mom. Drank himself to death in a house that was littered with piles of junk and filth. So that to me is an alcoholic. I do believe I have the potential to become a full blown alcoholic. But I have not hit any kind of bottom yet, which I am grateful for. I just know that it is a problem in my life that I am ready to deal with.
After the meeting, THREE ladies came up and gave me their numbers. We all chatted for a bit and it was just so amazing to get that kind of support. I texted them so they would know it was me, and two of them texted me later in the day just to say they were there for me and I could call if I needed to anytime.
3. WORKED non stop the next few hours, and then again all afternoon. Had several major deadlines to hit today and time was ticking all day long.
4. Had to go to the dermatologist because some “thing” literally showed up on my upper chest overnight. It’s not pretty and had me scared to death. Doc just thinks it’s some kind of bacteria – did a culture swab of it and put me on antibiotics and a cream. It’s so ugly and there aren’t many shirts I can wear so that you don’t see it. Guess I could have bigger problems.
5. Found out that they can’t get my brother in on 3/25. Had some glimmers of hope in the conversation with the nurse, and will just keep taking the steps we need to take. In the meantime, reached out to a friend whose husband is a bigtime surgeon and he recommended me to someone else. I will call them on Monday. The rush is because my brother has the potential to be terminated, in which he will lose his insurance. We do have the option of Cobra, but that is SO expensive. When I last talked to my brother, he was very down which made me sad. Hopefully things will pick up for him.
6. Committed to Belle’s 100 Days of Not Drinking Challenge. Emailed her today with my first accountability check in. Woo hoo
7. Turned down dinner plans with a drinking couple (and had a valid reason). Now our reason didn’t pan out, but I’m still gonna keep the decline b/c I’m not up for the challenge. And I’m EXHAUSTED. Yep – couldn’t sleep well last night. Fell asleep at 10:30 AM, but woke up at 1 AM and finally fell back asleep at 2 AM or so. Alarm went off at 5 AM so not too many zzzs
8. I cannot believe all of the incredibly supportive comments and feedback I have been getting. I can’t say I’ve got it all figured out, but I do feel like this time is different b/c I have the face to face support. And some allies whom I already knew. Just feels so amazing to have so much energy (except for right this second).
That’s about all I have time for. I’d love to go browse blogs, but the gorgeous weather is calling me, so hopefully I can do that later tonight.
Peace out all you awesome peeps!!!