God Only Gives You as Much as You Can Handle??

It started out as an awesome day! I was awake and coherent by 7:45 AM to take my daughter’s spend the night guest home (something I would have NEVER agreed to do before). This is after a night that she had 2 teenage boys and a teenage girl friend over for dinner. They hung out at our house for awhile, then wanted to go for frozen yogurt. Since the teens can’t have passengers, I drove them up there at 9:45 PM and waited patiently, bringing them back to our house for some more hang time. Finally bedtime at midnight or so.

We went to church for the first time in a few weeks and it was JUST what I needed. It is such an uplifting and positive church, and the whole message was about sharing your good/bad treasures with others who are younger. And service. And my daughter and I both signed up to help in the under 5 year old room for the 9
AM service. I NEVER would have dreamed of doing that before – I could barely make it to 11 AM service. But this is not the old me, and it felt good to take the steps to see if we can volunteer.

So then I get a phone call that I certainly was not prepared for. It was my brother, who had decided to check himself into a mental hospital. Let me just segue this by saying this was about 20 minutes before tennis was to start – tennis for which I am captain of the team and had already dealt with about 20 minutes of possible shuffling around of the lineup. It’s that kind of phone call that you’re just not mentally prepared for – didn’t know the right questions to ask etc. So I texted my sister and we were able to talk soon after and go through all of the things we needed to go through.

Since that was pretty much settled, I was able to switch my focus to tennis, and armed with a tantalizing sparkling water/diet cranberry concoction, my partner and I kicked some ASS. Sadly, I believe this was my first match without several beers in…I don’t know how long. I don’t know if ever. I somehow always convinced myself that I needed the loosening up in order to play…and that I got better with more beers. The beers were a flowing but I can honestly say that I never even gave it a second thought – not even a first thought! Well – I can definitely say that I played some great tennis today. They ran me all over the place, so it was a great cardio workout as well. Our team did well, winning the overall match 3-2. And then back to reality.

My sister called and he had indeed decided to check in to the hospital. We both know that it is probably the right thing for him, but it is pretty heartbreaking to find that he will be in there for at least 5 days. To top it off, the person who took him is a few cards short of a full deck herself, and she is touting herself as the hero. Ya’ know what – let her. At least I know that he is safe from himself and that others are safe from him. It’s just a really sad and surreal feeling to know that he is there. I did a lot of praying today. I kept telling God that I know he doesn’t give people more than they can handle, but he must really think I am an overachiever this past week.

I know one MILLION percent that any drink right now would never make any of this any better – I even know it would make it worse. It feels good to be cognizant of that and follow through as well.

So we are finishing out the night as a chill night and playing a little family trivia. Happy St. Patty’s Day indeed 🙂


4 thoughts on “God Only Gives You as Much as You Can Handle??

  1. I miss tennis! Your post reminded me of how much I miss it. I would drink to play too. I thought it made my muscles looser, relaxed me and kept me out of my head. But it was when I was sober that my partner and I won city! Sober I was smart out there. I had strategy. So much better. Anyways so sorry about your brother. Sounds like he’s got great support in you.

    • Isn’t it funny that we think that a DEPRESSANT made us play better?!? And let me just say that the match was more like “cardio tennis” – those ladies ran me all over the court! But I had plenty of stamina and my partner and I won 6-3, 6-2. Please keep my brother in your prayers and I appreciate your support. I get to see him tomorrow night. No idea of what to expect as I have seen WAY too many movies. 🙂

    • Thanks Mrs. D. As I told Number 9, I really appreciate all the prayers we can get at this point. He called me last night and kept whispering “I’m in a fucking insane asylum”. Ummm…not much I can say to retort to that. I did talk with someone at the center and got a better idea of everything going on, but it’s still just really surreal. All I know is that my primary job is to continue on this journey, poison free!!!

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