Need More Hours in My Day!!!

I hate being so absent on the weekends – but by getting on my computer, I set myself to sometimes end up working over the weekend which is something I DESPERATELY try not to do – unless I am cutting it close on a deadline or want to get a huge jump start on something! I’ve tried using my phone for a few things related to blogging, but one of my responses to someone went on someone else’s blog. Then there have been the times when I’ve written out a long ass reply to a blog that moves me, only to have to “sign in” using WordPress and then all of a sudden, POOF – everything is gone. At least I can READ new posts on my phone!

Anyways, I only have about 5 minutes to type up 3 days of stuff, and I know that ain’t gonna happen, so I’m just going to do a few quick shoutouts and then a brief re-cap of something from my meeting today.

There are SO many of you that I read and/or follow and/or lurk…but just a super quick hello (in NO particular order and please do not be mad if you are not on here – these are just off the top of my head so they don’t think I fell off the face of the earth!!!) Hi K, Jackie, Lilly, Belle, Mrs. D, Paul (FTF), Paul (CTM), Lisa, Renee, Cleo, 30 day Challenge girl, and to EVERYONE, I am just glad to be here and to remain alcohol free.

We had a great “non-topic” discussion today about the word alcoholic. One gal had a heartbreaking story to share about doing some volunteer work that was meant to benefit alcoholics, homeless people and various folks who were suffering. One of the guys she was working with said the “a word” like they were scum of the earth. Her heartfelt explanation of how much it hurt really got to me. The more people shared, the more I realized that indeed, by definition, I am an alcoholic – and it’s okay because I am a SOBER alcoholic and I am DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. The only alcoholic I really knew was my dad – and he was a drunk, mean, conniving alcoholic which is why I had such a hard time with the word. I do not always have the capability to stop drinking when I should, and my thoughts about alcohol (i.e. wine) can become obsessive. So, I was finally able to introduce myself as an alcoholic. I don’t feel that it’s necessary in day to day life, but in the room where I am comfortable sharing my innermost feelings, I felt it important to accept the fact that I am one. These people, as I have said, are amazing, and I got so many hugs and “thanks for sharing” afterwards!

So anyways, tomorrow I will share a new story about my brother’s PSYCHO ex-girlfriend and how she tried to manipulate me. But for now, it is the third anniversary of the first date with my husband and we are going out for “date night” to the restaurant where we first met up. I have some “girl prep” time to get to, so as much as I’d love to stay and chat longer, I have just gotta go. This new uber busy life is AWESOME!

P.S. Went to the gym again at 5:30 AM. That makes 11 days of doing so in the past 15. And on the 4 days I was not there at 5:30 AM, I played at least two hours of tennis on two of the days and walked 8 miles on one of the days. So I *did* take a day off this past Saturday – much needed. I will not even talk about Mr. Evil Scale. Hmmmm. Let’s cut out thousands of calories and burn off an extra 3500 or so per week, and let’s punish me by keeping the scale at status quo. It will NOT bother me πŸ™‚ Now if it keeps up in the next few weeks, that may be a different story!!!

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6 thoughts on “Need More Hours in My Day!!!

  1. Hope you have a lovely date night !
    I am just in awe of your exercise discipline. You might just get me up tomorrow. And the problem with your evil scale is that the stupid thing does not recognise all the extra MUSCLE you have gained which we all know weighs far more than fat! I have to keep reminding my evil scale of this too. xxx

    • Thanks Cleo!!! I did miss this morning – but I was just exhausted and knew the extra two hours of sleep was what I needed. Date night was fabulous! AND…I still hate my scale! I do hope the whole muscle vs. fat thing is true…:)

  2. I am extremely happy about your shift in thoughts regarding the word “alcoholic”. The word is difficult for people to attribute themselves to for the simple reason that you gave – that it’s associated with a person or image they have that is disagreeable or off-putting. Or just can’t stand. The fact that you saw your dad the way you did at first put you in a place that even associating with *him* in any way, including a simple word, was too much. The things you mentioned – mean, drunk,conniving…wow, that could have described me at time. Drunk for sure. Mean – not overtly (ok, maybe a few times), but mostly passive-aggressively. And conniving – well, yeah…of course I was, in some ways. I guess when I look at what it is that I find disagreeable in someone, I usually find that I am disturbed because I see that very thing in myself. It’s the whole “you spot it, you got it” thing. I am talking about my experiences, of course. Still struggle at times in finding what it is about someone that drives me batty – but I know it comes down to something in me that I don’t like or have a hard time facing.

    I think you have made a very important discovery here. It’s quite amazing to see it. Meetings are a great place for this kind of thing to happen. When you see first hand the other alcoholics and how we can relate to them, it helps to smash our images and ideas of that an alcoholic is or looks like.

    Thanks for the post…and the quick shout out. πŸ™‚

    Blessings,
    Paul

    • You’re right – and I still have some struggle with it…but have come to accept it and move on πŸ™‚ I could just never imagine you as mean Paul! You are such a kind hearted soul with a gentle spirit. And when I say my dad was mean, he was MEAN. He was both physically and emotionally abusive to my mom, myself and my siblings. As long as I am doing something about it, I am on the right path! πŸ˜‰

  3. Hi there. Thanks for the Hi, especially when I needed it πŸ™‚ Rough weekend for me, just trying to reset and sort out some confusing thoughts. I am so confused on the word alcoholic. I feel like I am obsessing over drinking, maybe just my beast brain taking over saying it was Ok to drink this weekend. I need to stop beating myself up, yet I cant commit to not drinking ever again. So just wanted to let you know where I am. I know I will not drink tonight. And for now that has to be good enough for me. I keep thinking I know how quickly it gets out of control, my Dad is also an alcoholic, can get mean and nasty at times. I know I havent reached that point but feel like I am being sucked in. Slowly. OK sorry to be such a downer. Enjoy your day.

    • I think the “resetting” and “sorting out” is ongoing throughout the entire process. As being so new myself, I also cannot relate to the “I will never drink again” mindset, and all I can do is start my day off in a positive way and take it one day at a time. Last night was my first time of having to call someone from my program. It was a LONG story, but basically involved my 16 year old daughter who was calling me selfish b/c I had not done something I had told her I would do. I accepted responsibility for falling short on what I said I would do, but to be told I was SELFISH because I was actually taking care of ME for once was really upsetting. We got through it, had a “teaching moment” but then I needed a talk with another alcoholic, a good cry and a good night’s sleep. So things are much brighter today, but it was a really difficult evening last night. Hang in there Jackie. You are where you are meant to be on your path. This is NOT my first attempt to get sober…hopefully it is my last, but each stringing together of days is/was progress on my path.

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