“WHAT are you drinking? You mean without any alcohol? Are you not drinking ever?”

Yesterday, I had two invites – one was an “obligation” and one more of a “want to” kind of thing, but I did feel like the first was where I did *need* to be, even if it wasn’t really where I wanted to be. I also knew that two gigs in one day was not a good idea – SO glad I opted out on the dinner invite, even though I love the people who invited us.

The one I did go to was meeting up with 2 girlfriends for a “drink” – there has been some tension in our small circle of friends, and I thought that by meeting up, we could get through some of it and take a load off of my shoulders. I was smart and got to the place early and ordered my club soda with cranberry. Figured it would make it easier just to say “I’ll have another one please.” But of course the shifts changed and the server had to ask what I was drinking. And of course one of my friends was like “WHAT are you drinking? You mean without any alcohol? Are you not drinking ever?” I fielded the questions as best as I could using my fitness routine as the primary reason, and she finally got it and other than an occasional “I feel funny drinking without you”, it was fine. That’s the “challenge” of a very small group – there were only 3 of us so there was no blending in with a crowd. But going into it KNOWING that it would probably raise eyebrows, and sticking to my resolve made it much more manageable.

Ironically, not once did I even want a drink. Any time the thought has crossed my mind lately I bring up my laundry list that I put into my step 4 work and I know 100% that “one” drink is not an option. What I did get frustrated with was how much alcohol is part of our society. I have decided that our sober community needs to reach out to all of the bars and restaurants across the globe and come up with some cool names for non-alcoholic drinks. Only we will know about them – and we can order them and not feel like an outcast just because we are not drinking something with alcohol in it.

Unfortunately, we did not even have the deep discussion that I thought we were going to have. The elephant is still in the room and after 2 and 1/2 hours, we had really just had superficial conversation. I guess that was expected since the 3 of us haven’t had any “one on one” conversation in awhile – but part of me was miffed that I felt “obligated” to go and we didn’t accomplish what I hoped to. I did make some attempts to broach the topics, but I wasn’t overly assertive, so I guess I can’t get too worked up about it.

I was SO looking forward to going home where I could make my husband and I dinner, and spend some QUIET time – just the two of us. We ate dinner on the deck (I made a Pork Milanese recipe though of course I made a bunch of tweaks) and then we sat on our upper balcony and just talked and talked and talked. It was a great weekend and I’m glad to be where I am today!!!

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7 thoughts on ““WHAT are you drinking? You mean without any alcohol? Are you not drinking ever?”

    • Thanks! The couple of hours I shared with my girlfriends – I enjoyed it – but there was a constant state of awkwardness that I just couldn’t seem to shake. I hope others understand what I mean – it was not that I was craving a drink – it was more my desire that people would not question why I don’t want a drink. I do think that as time goes on, alcohol may become what cigarettes used to be. Hopefully the glamorization of booze will disappear as people start to realize what the “real” effects are.

  1. Funny, I think I have heard EXACTLY that line about my not drinking! And, yes, it’s constantly annoying how much everything revolves around booze and how funny people can be about it. The flip side though is when you work yourself up about what people will think and no one even notices you’re not drinking! Which I find often happens if you don’t call attention to it (but is harder in those small group situations, yes, especially when you all used to drink together). Good for you for sticking to your guns and also for realising that two things in one day was going to be too much – keeping yourself safe. Good work. x

    • So glad to see you Lilly – and so proud of you for your 30 days! I tried to comment from my phone but technology and I are not the best of friends! Yep – learning what I CAN and CAN’T handle…and bowing out when needed šŸ™‚ Just glad to be here surrounded by such lovely people!

  2. Best part of this post is the second to last line. Don’t underestimate the awesomeness of you and your husband sitting on the balcony talking and talking and talking. That, my friend, is what life is all about. xxxx

    • Duly noted Mrs. D! It’s funny – we have had that upper balcony since moving to this house in February of 2009. It is only now that we are taking advantage of it. What I like is that I seriously feel like I’m on vacation! I associated balconies with ones at the beach, so even though we overlook our neighbor’s houses, I appreciate the greenery and the flowers and just the peace it brings me! Yep – that is what life is all about!

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