Yesterday, I had two invites – one was an “obligation” and one more of a “want to” kind of thing, but I did feel like the first was where I did *need* to be, even if it wasn’t really where I wanted to be. I also knew that two gigs in one day was not a good idea – SO glad I opted out on the dinner invite, even though I love the people who invited us.
The one I did go to was meeting up with 2 girlfriends for a “drink” – there has been some tension in our small circle of friends, and I thought that by meeting up, we could get through some of it and take a load off of my shoulders. I was smart and got to the place early and ordered my club soda with cranberry. Figured it would make it easier just to say “I’ll have another one please.” But of course the shifts changed and the server had to ask what I was drinking. And of course one of my friends was like “WHAT are you drinking? You mean without any alcohol? Are you not drinking ever?” I fielded the questions as best as I could using my fitness routine as the primary reason, and she finally got it and other than an occasional “I feel funny drinking without you”, it was fine. That’s the “challenge” of a very small group – there were only 3 of us so there was no blending in with a crowd. But going into it KNOWING that it would probably raise eyebrows, and sticking to my resolve made it much more manageable.
Ironically, not once did I even want a drink. Any time the thought has crossed my mind lately I bring up my laundry list that I put into my step 4 work and I know 100% that “one” drink is not an option. What I did get frustrated with was how much alcohol is part of our society. I have decided that our sober community needs to reach out to all of the bars and restaurants across the globe and come up with some cool names for non-alcoholic drinks. Only we will know about them – and we can order them and not feel like an outcast just because we are not drinking something with alcohol in it.
Unfortunately, we did not even have the deep discussion that I thought we were going to have. The elephant is still in the room and after 2 and 1/2 hours, we had really just had superficial conversation. I guess that was expected since the 3 of us haven’t had any “one on one” conversation in awhile – but part of me was miffed that I felt “obligated” to go and we didn’t accomplish what I hoped to. I did make some attempts to broach the topics, but I wasn’t overly assertive, so I guess I can’t get too worked up about it.
I was SO looking forward to going home where I could make my husband and I dinner, and spend some QUIET time – just the two of us. We ate dinner on the deck (I made a Pork Milanese recipe though of course I made a bunch of tweaks) and then we sat on our upper balcony and just talked and talked and talked. It was a great weekend and I’m glad to be where I am today!!!