I have no idea of how to do the fancy uploads from You Tube – so this might not even translate correctly, but this song really does sum it up for me at this very second. Even after my last post of meeting in a very small group of girlfriends and being able not to drink, I then again tested the waters the following Saturday night at a dinner party I KNOW I wasn’t able to handle. Small pockets of memory lapse, major claustrophobic panic attack in church the next day…it all just reminded me of what I do NOT want as part of my life.
Fast forward to today and some of the steps I have taken to move my journey forward:
a) Got a sponsor in AA. I fought this kicking and screaming, and honestly, a lot of it was that “don’t tell me what to do” attitude. I wanted to give this one more try without one, but did make a commitment that if I did NOT reach 30 days without one this time, I would get one. By choosing one because I WANTED to choose one, I think that was the way to go. Had my first meeting with her yesterday and I think it’s gonna be a good fit.
b) Created a new twitter account with my “mysterygirlunknown” info because I saw that some bloggers I love and respect were out there. About once an hour, I check the home page and read “motivational” quotes from various twitter recovery accounts (who knew there was a whole recovery arena out on Twitter as well?!?) and I will use it as another tool to reach out.
c) Reached out to a few folks to be sober pen pals with 🙂 And the same applies on my end – I have NO idea of where to put my email address on my blog – so if you want to get in touch with me, I’m at email@example.com.
d) Got a SASSY new haircut and color yesterday. Went from dark brown (with gray highlights!) blah one length hair to caramel colored hair with BLONDE highlights…lots of layers and flippy pieces. I feel at least 10 years younger and this extra kick in my step feels awesome.
e) Am making all kinds of plans for my SOBER vacation that starts on Saturday – a week at the beach with the family. I’m really thinking it all through and making sure that I do NOT have any way to set myself up for failure. Technically, I guess it starts tomorrow since I took the day off to get things done…I will be somewhat unplugged for that week, but will check email/blog from time to time.
f) Joined in on Belle’s Photography Challenge. Loved the bubbles challenge (and thank goodness for Belle’s cropping and enhancement skills!) and look forward to the next one.
g) Have been to 4 meetings so far this week – may go to one tonight, and definitely my regular one in the morning.
h) Just realized how much I love lists. I seem to do these quite often.
I hope that everyone who is still in the deep, dark pit of despair will at least consider beginning a journey to be alcohol free. I am nowhere near where I want to eventually be on my journey…but the time I have spent on it has all been worthwhile and full of growth and discovery. And lots of HONESTY. That’s a big one. Honesty with others and honesty with myself.
Virtual cheers to all with my amazing White Chocolate Macadamia Nut coffee…if I’m gonna drink coffee it’s gonna be GOOD stuff!!!