15 Minutes Take Two

Seems like by the time I get my coffee made and I do a bit of cruising around the blogs, my time left to post is miniscule. So I’ll just take a moment to try to put into words how I am feeling on this incredible alcohol-free vacation. It started out a bit bumpy. Little things that normally don’t bother me were getting under my skin. I felt myself getting snippy and pouty – like a petulant two year old who wasn’t getting their own way. And then I realized that I had not even VERBALIZED what “my way” was in the situation. Got that taken care of and we will be eating lunch at a dive type restaurant one day this week – just something that I love to do.

There are a lot of contributing factors to staying sober on this vacation. First and foremost is the fact that I did not pack any alcohol. The only “opportunity” I would have would be to go to the Tiki Bar that is about 1/2 mile from where we are staying. I already told my husband that if I went there by myself, even if I tried to disguise it by saying I was getting HIM something, it only meant that I would be having a drink, or multiples. It called my name momentarily Saturday night when they had live music and the place was hopping. My husband and I walked by it and I longed to sit at a table and listen to the music. Of course a chardonnay in a cold crystal glass with sweat beads dripping from it in the humidity completed the picture, but I was even able to visualize myself there sipping on my standard club soda and cranberry. Needless to say hubby was tired so we never did go.

The next night, the beach club only had a few people and they were playing terrible music. We did go to sit on the upper deck for a few minutes, but I quickly felt myself bored and anxious, mainly because it really wasn’t where I wanted to be. We went to the beach to sit, but with the winds coming up off of the waves, it was FREEZING. So back to our condo we went so that I could read as he channel surfed.

With all of the water/Crystal Light I am drinking, I am a peeing machine. I guess it would be the same with beer (that was never really a favorite of mine), but I feel like my internal system is being well taken care of πŸ™‚ We are eating healthy meals (sue me – they are not organic!) and I find myself being the “leftover patrol.” I know that we bought way too much food and I’m determined not to let too much of it go to waste. I’m becoming even more creative in the kitchen, though figuring out WHAT to cook in is a challenge in itself. For a mac daddy kitchen with stainless steel appliances and a beautiful tile backsplash, the actual kitchen tools are less than to be desired. The pots and pan set is awesome – but there is but ONE cookie sheet and not a single dish that can be cooked in the oven – no pyrex or square baking pans or anything. It’s all good. I have managed to cook 4 delicious meals, taking advantage of the fresh fish and seafood that are here.

Well – that was yesterday morning and now it is Wednesday. What happened was that our next door neighbors came by the patio with their adorable little kids and in the midst of playing with them, I lost track of time and my computer battery died. Today will be a different story – it is RAINING. How dare it rain while we are at the beach. But honestly, I am okay with it. My fair skinned hubby was starting to get really really red and this will give him a break from the sun. Even I, though mainly a toasty brown, was starting to pink up a bit around my bathing suit edges where the sun never really has a chance to shine. I’m completely fine with finishing up my second book of the week and starting a third. I want to drive into town and eat lunch at a dive. We can play games or watch a movie. I have not watched ONE SINGLE SECOND of TV since we got here and that is a good thing. I have focused on peace and serenity and relaxation.

I got up an extra hour early this morning so that I could be SURE to have MY time. It’s off to the sobersphere I go and I hope that everyone out there is making it a GREAT day – even if it is pouring rain in the middle of your vacation πŸ™‚

MG

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3 thoughts on “15 Minutes Take Two

  1. Sounds like you’re having a wonderful time, MG, I’m so glad.

    It’s funny how we can get so frustrated when we don’t get our way–and we never even told someone what we wanted. I’m a lot better at that with my husband (he won’t know if I don’t tell him), but it still gets me time to time. I try to just breathe….and tell myself that it doesn’t matter. And the anxiety passes…

    So glad you are recognizing this stuff early on and verbalizing your wants and needs!

    Enjoy your rain! C

  2. Ha ha – nice dig with the “sue me it’s not organic” line. Take that, daughter’s friend. πŸ™‚ Boundaries and the things you talk about are something I identify with. The not getting your way without even knowing what your way is is something I get. We are learning to come around to what we want and need, and it’s disguised with fear and anger and some other things. I found that once I started to deal with some of these things (i.e. the steps) I was able to start feeling and actually verbalizing (gasp!) my wants and needs. Took me a long time. Still learning, but it’s much better. So don’t sweat it – it will come.

    Glad you’re enjoying your time.

    Now stop posting and just take it all in πŸ™‚

    Paul

    • What I have actually learned about myself is that by posting, I feel that I can prolong the feelings of peace. It helps me get grounded to start my day. And it doesn’t hurt that I am on a patio overlooking the ocean! I wrote my post from my phone today…didn’t even bother bringing the PC down. I love this quiet time…it’s all mine! 😊

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